Q: I often read and hear people talk about a ‘healthy’ sexual relationship – but what exactly is ‘healthy’?

I mean I think I enjoy sex with my partner but I still think about sex with other women and also fantasise. Does that mean I’m not having a fulfilling and healthy sex life? Dibakar, Indore

Auntyji says... Dibakar Puttar, great going ji. I don't know about Indore, but in Punjab at least your sexual appetite will be considered very, very healthy.

But then you live close to those fabulous temples of Khajuraho, so all’s good only. But I am steering away from the main issue here, so let us get back.

Mutual
Good to know ji that you are in a 'satisfying' sexual relationship with your partner. That is step one for good sexual health. I am guessing that she feels the same too. If yes, that is the second sign of being in a healthy sexual relationship.

But the third and most important sign of a healthy sexual relationship is that it's mutually satisfying and pleasurable for the two of you. And fun in bed makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

Don't act on it
As they say back in my pind, jab miya bibi raazi, toh kya karega kaazi. As long as the two of you are happy, you shouldn't care for anything else.

Yes, you might think of someone else once in a while. Maybe even more than just once in a while. But it seems like you don’t act on it. At least not so far.

So if you ask me, the situation can’t be better. Unless you actually play out those fantasies with other women, there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. Ab ghar ki murgi to daal barabar hi hoti hai.

Naked actress
And before you ask, no, it's not a bad thing to watch pornography either or picture a Bollywood actress naked. Or even your next-door neighbour, for that matter. Whatever rocks your bed!

But I am wondering if these thoughts remain in your head only or might they turn real? That might make the situation a tad more complicated. Unless your partner consents as well! That’s another story, for another day. Update me so that I can warn my friends in Indore to hide their daughters.

Spice
Fantasy is good. Not just good, it's great. Keeps things fresh. And as your Uncleji says, it’s the healthiest way to spice up things. Anyone who says that he or she has never done that is clearly lying through his/her teeth.

So in a nutshell, Auntyji gives you a certification of perfect sexual health. Go ahead tiger, fantasise a little more.
 
Photo: Auntyji, thinqkreations