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Love and Sex Info
“I was introduced to my future husband by email, met him for the first time on Skype and married him two months later,” says Divya.
Divya got married two years ago to a match arranged by her father’s friend. According to her even though an arranged marriage doesn’t sound like the most romantic thing in the world, it’s the best decision she has made in her life.
Q: I am a 32-year-old woman and I find I think about sex more than ever before. Will my husband find it weird if I tell him about this?
I have heard people say that a woman's sex drive is at its peak when she reaches 30 – is this true? What will happen after this? I don’t see anything like this happening with my husband. Kieran, Kolkata
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Auntyji says… Wah ji wah, Kya baat hai Puttar! It truly is kaliyug. Rabji is giving you and your hubby such an incredible gift and I hear you worrying about it! Tsk tsk tsk. A great sex drive is truly nature's bounty. So don't count the trees, just enjoy the mangoes, if you'll pardon my Punjabi proverb.
First of all don't worry about the hows and the whys. Yes, research has shown that women's sexual desire peaks during their 30s. Scientists blame evolution and the earliest women's difficulty in having 'more' children during their middle age as the primary cause.
But then other research has shown that women's sex drive is highest during their teens. Some more research will show just before menopause as that peaking age.
Kieran beta, you know what I mean? As far as researchers are concerned, some will even tell you that sexual prime is a myth and maybe psychological at best. Just don't worry so much about your randiness clock. We all have different body setups and systems. And the same is true for your husband as well. So don't dissect the reasons behind it, just enjoy yourselves.
Break the silence
Your other worry factor is the husband's reaction. Call it intuition or call it decades of experience, but I doubt that your partner will be disappointed with your new found enthusiasm for all things sexual.
Now I am obviously assuming that you kids have a pretty normal relationship in and out of the bedroom. No, he won't find this news weird. And you shouldn't find his dancing on the streets (after hearing about your latest problem) weird either.
In fact, he might be going through the same state of mind (and groin) as well. My mummy ji used to say that after a few years of marriage, couples start to look alike. My corollary is that they also start behave similarly, with matching body clocks. So maybe it's just something that your munda is feeling shy about as well. Time to break the silence, I say.
Talk about your needs
Worst-case scenario: if your husband doesn't react very positively, then you need to explain the matter to him in detail. Sexual satisfaction is important – actually it should be declared a fundamental right under our constitution.
You should talk about your mutual needs and how the two of you need to attend to each other's requirements. Give him some time, I don't think it'll be difficult to get him on your side.
And let me sincerely thank you. I am very happy ji that in today's question, I can't see any problem at all. This can only end in a good way or a very good way.
Needless to say that this situation calls for a lot of Rooh Afza breaks as well as following safe sex practices. But I'm sure you two will take care of both. And yes, encourage hubby to invest in that illustrated Kama Sutra that you've been eyeing.
Photo: Auntyji, thinqkreations
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