Getting ready to make love: tell your partner what you like about him/her, how much you enjoy being together, how much you look forward to making love.
Love and Sex Info
“I’ve never felt so guilty in my life,” says Anmol. He’s been with his girlfriend for two years but lately he’s found himself fantasising about her best friend.
“I don’t want to mess up my relationship over something like this but I really don't know how to get her friend out of my mind,” says Anmol. “I’m turned on every time I’m around her.”
“Hi there! Would you go to bed with me tonight?”
A guy who tries this chat-up line on a girl is heading for a big brush-off. Yet reverse the roles, and the guy will probably seize the opportunity (as well as the girl) with both hands. Sounds obvious? Danish researchers set up a ‘sexual invitations’ experiment to test the theory.
The researchers recruited a group of psychology students at Copenhagen University to act as guinea pigs. They rated their attractiveness on a scale of one to ten. Then they trained them to use three different opening lines and sent them out on the streets to chat up complete strangers.
Divided into a guys’ team and a girls’ team, the students had to approach as many people as they could and see what response they got.
They all started by giving their name and saying, “I’m sorry to disturb you like this, but I've been noticing you around and find you very attractive.”
They followed this up with one of three questions:
Sure enough, when girls asked the ‘go to bed with me’ question, they got a lot better response than the guys did. Most girls had no intention of jumping into bed with a stranger. They were much happier to be asked out on a date. Or at least ‘come over to my place’. In short, the girls wanted to be wooed.
But there was one trump card that gave the guys a better chance of success with a blunt ‘go to bed with me’: good looks. Guys who said yes to sex didn’t so much mind what the girls looked like. But if the guy asking for sex was good looking, the girls were much more likely to throw caution to the wind.
Cut to the chase
It’s probably down to evolution, say researchers Gert Martin Halda and Henrik Høgh-Olesenc. Females are unconsciously on the look-out for strong genes for their baby. Good looks are a way to tell if a male has got them.
The conclusion? If you’re a guy looking for an adventure, “voulez-vous coucher avec moi” just isn’t going to work as a chat up line - unless you happen to have film-star good looks. On the other hand, if you’re a girl, you can just cut to the chase – guys aren’t so fussy. Though you probably didn’t need a team of Danish psychologists to tell you all this!
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