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Being single is tough but dealing with the ‘why,’ ‘how come,’ and ‘still single’ questions is tougher. We scouted out four brave, single women in Mumbai and asked them what kind of pressure they face.
These four women, who are yet to find the right man, have to answer routine questions from well-meaning family, friends and nosy neighbours. The result: a range of funny to frustrating scenarios.
Parents are parents for a reason. They’ll never completely agree with you. And that’s fine. But what do you do when your parents behave like puritans out of the past century?
A couple I know, who have been engaged for a year now, complained the other day about not being allowed to meet in private without their parents’ consent. So how do they cope? “We just lie to them.”
Arranged, yet love
This very adorable couple I know got engaged nearly a year ago after their parents arranged for their meeting. “Both of us met with a totally anti-arranged-marriage mindset and just went for the meeting to please our parents,” the boy told me. “But when we met each other, it clicked, we ended up talking to each other for five hours,” he added.
They couldn’t resist falling in love with each other. It turned out to be love at first sight. They tried and tested it for a while and it worked. “It’s not an arranged setup, because I think we could have met anywhere, at a club or at some party or something like that, but it just happened to be arranged by our parents!” the girl said.
So it was very convenient. The parental units couldn’t have had a problem. After all, their kids had followed their rules. Marriage was fixed up a year later, but they got happily engaged. That’s when the problems began.
“The parents didn’t want us to meet each other without their consent. They are very conservative so of course they didn’t want us to end up doing something they wouldn’t approve of,” the boy said. Ah, so they had to abstain from sex.
Lying, the best policy
So what did they do? “We just don’t tell our parents that we meet each other without them knowing about it. So when we are in fact meeting each other, we lie to them that we aren’t. That we are doing something else somewhere else,” the girl said.
“I know it’s horrible, but they just wouldn’t understand us. So it’s best to lie. What they don’t know isn’t going to hurt them. It’s best not to confront when both parties are from opposite poles. We will never meet in the middle,” she added.
The couple’s getting married next year. And for their sake, I just hope that their lies never get found out. “But we will tell them about this sometime in the future for sure,” the boy said. “Maybe after we have kids! That’s when it will be taken as a joke!”
By Gayatri Parameswaran
Photo: Gayatri Parameswaran, © Love Matters/RNW
The views expressed in our blogs don’t necessarily represent those of Love Matters.
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