When your partner says no, don’t try to convince her/him to go on. If she/he lets you talk her/him into it, there might be regrets later.
Love and Sex Info
“I was introduced to my future husband by email, met him for the first time on Skype and married him two months later,” says Divya.
Divya got married two years ago to a match arranged by her father’s friend. According to her even though an arranged marriage doesn’t sound like the most romantic thing in the world, it’s the best decision she has made in her life.
The break-up that tops my list of real life horror stories happened three years ago.
It was the first time I had ever dumped someone and it felt like getting a root canal without anesthesia – slow and painful. The “process” started with an email before dragging on into the longest week of my life.
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Email Love Matters.
I had started seeing this really cool girl who I’d met during a capoeira class. She was fun to be around, but most importantly she seemed to be fiercely independent with her own active work and social life. But within a month she had completely transformed into a passive-aggressive drama queen.
I felt like I had been tricked into dating her. I know everyone pretends to be slightly cooler than they actually are with people they are trying to impress but she had pretended to be a completely different person. At first she had said all the right things: “I really value having my own space”, “One’s life can’t just revolve around romantic relationships”, “I’m too young to make a lifelong commitment to anyone”, etc.
I was super excited about being with someone who wasn’t fixated on the idea of “happily ever after”. But suddenly she changed. She wanted me to hang out constantly and if I wasn’t with her she would call to find out where I was and what I was doing.
I was interning with a production house at the time and she kept nagging me to do a Masters in media because she thought people wouldn’t take me seriously without a degree. It felt like she had already planned out the rest of our lives and was busy grooming me to play the role of perfect boyfriend. I played along for around two months until one day I couldn’t meet her because I was working late and she decided to “drop by” my workplace for a hug.
That night I called her to say I was pissed off but she somehow twisted the conversation into how I didn’t value our relationship. It was insane. We had a 30-minute long “conversation” and she didn’t let me finish even two sentences. In the end I was left with no option but to do the unforgivable: I broke up with her over email.
The next day she showed up at my place for a five-hour long “conversation” during which I listened and she said a lot of things that didn’t make any sense: “You don’t deserve me”, “I hate you”, “If you don’t take me back, you will die alone”, “I hate you but I will forgive you”, etcetera.
I didn’t get how she could hate me so much but still wanted to get back together. When she left I thought it was finally over but I was so very wrong. She told all our friends about my email break-up and I was instantly branded as an “insensitive pig”. Of course, no one heard about the long abusive emails she sent over the next week.
She mailed two to three times a day calling me every foul name possible, detailing all my “flaws”, accusing me of “destroying her soul” and wishing me a life of loneliness and pain. It was a nightmare. By the time it was over I was so exhausted that I swore off dating for a year.
Dinesh (name changed) is a Production Assistant.
Photo: flickr / Motorboat4107
Do you think Dinesh could have handled this better? What was your most painful break-up experience? Join the discussion here or on Facebook!
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