How to avoid unwanted sexual behaviour: be careful with recordings with a webcam. The video can be passed on to other people.
Love and Sex Info
When Nakshatra goes out for a coffee with his mother, they’re both on the look-out for cute men. “Do you fancy that guy?” she’ll say.
Things haven’t always been this way. Growing up in a village, he became aware of his feelings aged 16. A year later, after a move to Mumbai, he told his parents he was gay. His mum said she wished he was dead.
First time sex, which is also called 'losing your virginity', is something you’ll never forget.
It can be scary. It can also be exciting and special. So it's important to make it a nice experience. But how can you do this? And how can you make sure that your partner is also having a good time? Find out in the fourth edition of our Top Five Facts.
Twelve stories you liked best in 2012!
#12 First published 27/07/2012
Pay attention to your partner, too!
Is he or she enjoying it? Ask. Is he or she nervous? Try to reassure your partner by saying loving things. Does your partner feel insecure about you seeing him or her naked? Give compliments. Can you tell your partner doesn’t want to go any further? Respect his or her wishes.
Listen to your own feelings and your partner’s:If you feel like you’re not ready for sex yet, don't ignore the feeling! You are the only one who knows when you are ready. Don't let someone talk you into it, and only have sex with someone you trust. That's the key to having a good time!
Read ten tips on having sex for the first time.
Build up slowly
You don’t have to do everything straight away. Build up the excitement slowly, so you both get aroused. When a girl gets sexually aroused, her vagina becomes wet. This is important, because otherwise intercourse would hurt.
More on sex for the first time here.
Talk to each other
The first time you probably won’t know quite what you should do. Pay attention to the way your partner responds. Does your partner moan? Does he or she guide your hand to a particular place? These are signs that you’re heading in the right direction! But often the signals aren’t so clear. So talk to each other about what you’d like to try or not. Many people find talking about it really arousing too.
And don't forget to laugh! Humour and sex are a perfectly good mix!
It's not like in the movies
Don't expect it to go smoothly from the very beginning. It’s possible that the girl will experience some pain when she tries to have a guy enter her for the first time.
You might also have trouble putting on a condom – it’s a good idea to try it out beforehand! Or the guy might come really quickly as soon as his penis slips inside – or even before. Or the opposite – he might find his erection drooping because of the nerves.
This is all completely normal. Take your time and talk about it. And try again. Don't take it too hard if it doesn't work out perfectly the first time – just keep on trying!
For women, first time sex can be painful. That's because the hymen, a stretchy piece of skin that partially covers the opening of the vagina, tears or stretches to let the penis in. Or because the girl is nervous, so her vagina tenses up and that makes penetration painful.
Sometimes the expectation of pain is what makes a girl tense up so sex hurts. If she’s really relaxed, aroused and wet, though, there needn’t be any pain at all – or at least it can be minimal. Take deep breaths and relax. Don't rush or force anything.
Compiled by Stephanie Haase
If you've already had sex, how was your first time? And if you haven't yet, how do you feel about the prospect of losing your virginity? Leave a comment here or join the discussion on Facebook (we don't need to include your real name by the way).
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