Performance in bed can decide whether a relationship continues or perishes. I was reminded of this last week by a friend, who sent me a frantic message.

“The past few times sex has been bad. I’m really tense. What if this continues? What am I going to do? Be a celibate? I need sex! Help, I’m in dire straits,” she pleaded.

Older boyfriend
Ever since she got into the relationship, which was about two years ago, my friend has been paranoid about the age difference between her boyfriend and her. “He’s 38 and I’m 25. I wasn’t even born when he had his first sexual encounter as a teenager,” she stressed, to make her paranoia evident.

“A huge age difference is not something that is comfortable socially. When I am introduced to his friends, I feel too young. I always wonder what they are thinking of our relationship. Are they wondering if I am in it for the money? And it’s equally awkward with my friends, sheesh!” my friend said.

Under-performed
My stressed friend was also finding it difficult to come to terms with some recent experiences she had in bed. “He under-performed,” she yelled. So was it premature ejaculation? “No, it was a f***ing flaccid penis, do you hear me? It’s the worst nightmare coming true for any woman,” she exclaimed!

I expressed my sincere sympathies to her. How did she react in that tight situation? “I have been trying hard to get him back on the track. But I gave up after a while. It doesn’t seem to be working,” my friend said.

Scary
For the past few weeks, there’s been one thought haunting my friend – day in and day out, as she claims. “What if his sex life is over?”

Over? At 38? No, impossible…

“No, tell me what am I going to do if it is indeed over? What if… To me, sex is important, point blank. But what if he can’t satisfy me? I’m really scared,” she said.

It is indeed scary. Here was a man, she was truly in love with and wanted to make love to. Is her man’s suffering from some tabooed sexual problem? Is there a cure? If there is, what is it? And what the hell should my friend do meanwhile?

Perhaps Auntyji could help?

By Gayatri Parameswaran

Photo: Gayatri Parameswaran, © Love Matters/RNW

The views expressed in our blogs don’t necessarily represent those of Love Matters.

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