I am so glad to have this talking space! Thank you, Kuber! Because when people keep talking--in an effort to be reasonable, then slowly we all wise up. The homosexual issue is the big one in Indian politics currently, which we are now in the process of resolving. Hopefully. WE have had so many such painful issues: widow remarriage, marriage out of one's community, etc etc. And people have struggled: Is it okay to do this? Is it okay to do that? What are people around me going to say? Horrible to have love that one has taken for granted withdrawn. There are extreme cases where parents want to kill their children because they did something the parents thought was wrong. To come out requires courage. To wear something that others are going to find not fitting-in also requires a self-belief and courage. And when we are courageous and feel supported for it, we are freer and able to be productive and creative and happy...

Dear kuber, not every homophobe is a closet gay. Very often, intolerance about homosexuality emanates from a fear of the unknown, something that forces people out of conventional modes of thinking. as for coming out, i think its a political act. Because a part of your being is also being revealed which in a largely conventional framework, necessitates being open. finally being gay and proclaiming it is an act of celebration, not just of individuality but about a stance which subverts normative assumptions. I personally rejoice in my homosexuality and would let people accept me both because of it and despite it. But your piece is thought provoking. Thank you. Love your casual wit. take care.

"Five years back, a group of boys holding hands in public spaces wasn't an uncommon sight. But suddenly my close buddy and I don’t have a friendship, we have a dostana. Rather distressing indeed."

Nailed it!!!

"But why am I supposed to be a certain kind of man? Why are we men judged on the basis of our bow ties, our tight trousers and our dancing skills?"

Yeah... And the music we listen to...movies we watch... etc. etc.

I just disagree with the 'closeted homosexuals' point.

Interesting comments there too.

Thanks for sharing! Kudos!
shiv

nicely articulated points. I don't like to be categorised and i try my level best not to divide human beings in categories, until and unless they themselves wear them as their identities. Personally, i can have a fight with an one interested in punga with me and can wear pink anytime. I am just always me.
hadi

You know how much I love you Kuber Ji! Awesome Write up!!
|Because dear readers, I am afraid of which category would you place me in!|
Well, we would certainly like to put you in a category of a man who is a real respectable man!! :D

All homophobes are closeted homosexuals is a blanket statement and not necessarily true. And you are not the only one being labelled. Everyone around you is being put into boxes. This is how nature works --- on classification. It plays a very important role in evolution and day to day existence of all living species. I think a more apt rant would have been against discrimination and not classification. If you stand out, you stand out. Don't blame others for noticing if you wear red suspenders or put kohl in ur eyes or wear janehu on top of ur shirt. If you want to be you then others too want to be themselves and that will include those who will raise eyebrows at out of ordinary behaviour or attire. So be and let others be.

loving this column.. and your simple to do, hard to come by advise! And glad that you're talking about pressures on men to look good but not too good. We all have to carefully cultivate the right image these days! I grew up being told i'm so fair i should've been a girl.. but apparently fair and handsome is in vogue now :P I'm keeping my pink shirts and my dirty jeans.. heck maybe i'll confuse people by wearing em together! Cheers, Manak.

Great to have this queer eye from a straight guy ;) I'm the "yoga doing salad munching" type and my boyfriend's the "hairy chested, badly dressed" variety. And we're both totally with your rant about people slotting us and labeling. [***We both LOVE Zara men***] The ending line's the best advise and rule to live by ever! Kudos! While you're at it, please tell all homophobic straight men to stop declaring they are scared of being hit on by "gays". Being gay means we got good taste! The Gay Next Door :)

But what about self image i have of me? i want to look and feel straight.

brilliant! i think we should all pick up a few things for this!

a great read...mirrors what a lot of people are thinking....

Yet another humorous, yet refreshingly honest piece Mr. Sharma. I think the two most attractive human qualities are being comfortable with one's self and not being judgmental of others. I hope your brave words encourage more people to think and act the same way, regardless of sexual orientation or appearances. Be yourself and love yourself - true friends will love you back and the not-so-friendly folk will struggle to put you in any sort of box while you're belting out 'Born This Way' and pinging your red braces in their faces. Always enjoy reading your blog Guy Next Door.... Keep it up! :) - Kara

Well 1stly we shouldn't judge Gay pple. & secondly, make judicious use of the word. there's just too many of these stereotypes on "what Gay looks like".

Loved it yet again. Keep writing more. Cheers! - Ishita

very well written bro , i feel exactly what you are saying , got both my ears pierced , and used to have long hair , and boy was i branded gay , but honestly hell who cares , why care , people who know me , know who i am and people who dont know me , well should we really care about their views ??