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Love and Sex Info
“I’ve never felt so guilty in my life,” says Anmol. He’s been with his girlfriend for two years but lately he’s found himself fantasising about her best friend.
“I don’t want to mess up my relationship over something like this but I really don't know how to get her friend out of my mind,” says Anmol. “I’m turned on every time I’m around her.”
Want him to go down on you in bed? Or maybe you’d rather he didn’t go there. If you don’t say so, chances are he’ll never know.
Whether it’s just a hook-up or a serious relationship, when it comes to getting head women are comfortable with different things, a recent US study on female college students’ oral sex preferences found.
Seventy-five percent of women like getting head regardless of the type of relationship, the study of 43 students in their early twenties found. For them, oral sex is one of the best ways to reach orgasm and is associated with sexual pleasure.
“It’s usually the only way I can orgasm,” student Jackie told the researchers. “About 60 percent of the time I have an orgasm, it’s from oral sex,” said Marjorie. And Annie said she had an orgasm “every time with oral sex”.
But for other women, oral sex is anything but appealing. They used words like ‘weird’, ‘bizarre’, ‘dirty’ and ‘nasty’ when they talked about the idea of a guy going down on them.
These women are often self-conscious about their bodies, say the researchers. The up-close nature of receiving oral sex makes them uncomfortable – though they often find it hard to express exactly what they don't like about it.
“The whole like thing is kind of, I don’t know, weird to me a little bit,” said Lenora. “I don’t know why but... just their face being down there.’’
Getting head is one of the most intimate and emotional parts of sex, whether a woman feels positively about it or not. Most need to know and trust a guy in order enjoy it when he goes down on her.
Two-thirds of women who give a guy a blow job want him to return the favour, regardless of how serious the relationship is, the study found.
But whether a woman has to ask a guy to go down on her or not depends on if they’ve just got together or are in a relationship. Oral sex is not always expected in a hook-up, so women who want to get head usually have to say so.
On the other hand, oral sex is usually taken for granted in serious relationships. Women who are uncomfortable with the idea have to make it clear they don’t want their partners to go down on them, the researchers say.
Enthusiastic guys keen on giving head can put women who are self-conscious about their bodies and genitals at ease. Women previously uncomfortable with the idea can grow to enjoy oral sex thanks to partners that are eager to please.
Comfort with different aspects of the body such as weight, hair, sweat and genitals goes a long way towards a woman’s being able to enjoy sex and something as an intimate as getting head, according to the researchers and other experts in the field.
Text: Sarah Moses
Photo: Oral X by ~adixion
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