Q: When I make out with my girlfriend, I end up ejaculating. What can I do about it?

I'm 22 years old, and I'm not interested in having sex until I'm married. Our making out doesn't really involve anything sexual, mostly just kissing. I don't want to not make out with her, but I don't like the coming part of it. Karan, Mumbai

Auntyji says... Karan puttar, thoda thand paao. First of all, beta, I want you to understand that it’s completely natural to ejaculate when you are aroused. Many people think ejaculation should only happen after penetration, but that is not true. Ejaculation has nothing to do with penetration, simply arousal – which is also the reason behind wet dreams.

Why does this happen?
Aaj kal zamaana hi aisa hai ki people are in a hurry to do everything. The decision to not have sex till marriage is one very few people make and it’s completely fine to want to do that. However, you must understand what that means for your body.

After puberty, the male body starts producing sperm and when aroused, the penis becomes erect and after a point releases sperm. Sometimes you’re just aroused and you find yourself wet, which is probably what’s happening with you.

Is this a problem?
As I’ve mentioned, beta, you must understand that this is absolutely normal. Especially since you have decided to wait for marriage before having sex, it’s only natural for your body to release sperm on arousal.

With time, however, you will notice that it will be more controlled and you will not ejaculate every time you make out with your girlfriend. Also just check the amount of flow as well. And do you have an orgasm? If you don’t orgasm, and you don’t ejaculate so much fluid, then it’s just ‘pre-cum’ or pre-ejaculate, a colourless fluid that helps lubricate during the actual sex. Again it’s released by your body in anticipation of greater joy. And just absurd amount of pleasure.

What can I do about it?
The best suggestion I can give you, puttar, is to be less hard on yourself. As you kids like to say, pun very much unintended (tee-tee-hee). Achcha, jokes apart, you need to stop worrying about it because it will eventually become more controllable. There is not much you can do to control it, but as you move forward, your body will understand your needs and ejaculation will not happen this sporadically.

The second and most important advice I can give you is to simply go out and masturbate. Yes puttar, you heard me right, go ahead and pleasure yourself. It’s good for you. And it just might help you see things clearer.

Masturbation is the activity of pleasuring yourself using your own hand, as I am sure you know. The advantage of masturbation is that it’s perfectly safe and extremely pleasurable. It’s completely natural to masturbate, and it will also give you more control over your ejaculation problem. You won’t have all that stored-up sperm just waiting to gush out at the slightest stimulation!

At the end of this, betaji, I just want to say, sit back, have a glass of thanda Rooh Afza and relax. It will be better soon!
 

Photo: Auntyji, thinqkreations