When you’re in love with someone, you want to be with that person and touch them all the time.
Love and Sex Info
When Nakshatra goes out for a coffee with his mother, they’re both on the look-out for cute men. “Do you fancy that guy?” she’ll say.
Things haven’t always been this way. Growing up in a village, he became aware of his feelings aged 16. A year later, after a move to Mumbai, he told his parents he was gay. His mum said she wished he was dead.
“I discovered masturbation by accident,” says Bangalore-based Marion.
Till the age of 16 she didn’t even know that what she was doing was considered masturbation. “I mean I knew what ‘masturbation’ meant when boys did it, but honestly I didn’t think girls could do it.”
Tell us YourStory about love, sex, relationships and everything in between.
Email Love Matters.
More articles on
sex and religion
Marion (not her real name) is a 23-year-old PR professional in Bangalore. Her story is part of our First Times series.
“I had a Christian upbringing, and during evangelical retreats we heard loads of stories of young men who ‘went over to the dark side’ because of ‘excessive self abuse’.
Blind, skinny or mad
"In school my friends and I used to giggle over the health queries section in magazines like Seventeen, where confused young boys wrote in worried that they would become blind, skinny or mad if they didn’t stop jerking off.
"For me and most of my classmates masturbation sounded like a male problem. It wasn’t something I thought about, let alone discussed.
“And when I did find out about female masturbation I wasn’t really sure about the ‘how’ of it. I thought it involved putting something in your vagina. So I was curious about whether you could masturbate without losing your virginity. Because losing my virginity before marriage out of the question.
"If my folks ever found out they would die with shame and if word got out about it then no one would consider me ‘respectable’ anymore. Anyway the premium on virginity bit is a cultural thing and I got over it soon enough. But the point is that I hadn’t even heard of the existence of the clitoris.
"Sex education was a totally unheard of thing and apart from references in Hollywood films I didn’t even know what it meant. Actually I did attend one unofficial sex-ed session in the first year of college where a 50-year-old nun told us that the best mode of birth control was abstinence.
"So apart from the Mills and Boons I was reading on the sly, the only other source of information about sex was a series of lectures about human reproduction in biology class. To her credit, the biology teacher did speak to us rather frankly about intercourse. But no one ever spoke about masturbation.
“After my accidental ‘discovery’ of masturbation I was racked with guilt. It wasn’t a religious thing anymore I just really wanted to be a ‘nice normal girl’. And nice girls didn’t play with themselves. Boy was I wrong!"
Do you feel guilty about masturbating? How old were you when you started? Or perhaps you don't masturbate at all? We'd like to hear about your solo habits - anonymously of course, if you prefer! Leave a comment here or join the discussion on Facebook.
How to get in touch