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my story

Coming out to my parents: from horror to pride

When Nakshatra goes out for a coffee with his mother, they’re both on the look-out for cute men. “Do you fancy that guy?” she’ll say.

Things haven’t always been this way. Growing up in a village, he became aware of his feelings aged 16. A year later, after a move to Mumbai, he told his parents he was gay. His mum said she wished he was dead.


Low libido? Maybe sex guilt is to blame

Low libido? Maybe sex guilt is to blameIf sex leaves you cold, it may well be because it makes you feel guilty.

Guilt is a passion killer for women, a recent Canadian study found. To rev up low libidos, women need to replace guilty feelings with a more positive view of sex, the researchers suggest.

People with sex guilt beat up on themselves for breaking their own rules on sexual behaviour, say the researchers. They feel guilty about actually wanting sex. It makes them feel they have to resist sexual temptation and leaves them sexually inhibited. 

Sex rules
These self-imposed restrictions about behaviour and partners put a serious damper on sex drive. Feeling guilty about breaking sex rules could be the reason for the lower libidos of East Asian Canadian students compared to their Caucasian peers, the study found.

The mostly Chinese students in the study had less sex and were less likely to touch their partners’ genitals when fooling around.

Cultural expectations
East Asian cultures are typically more conservative than Western cultures when it comes to views on sex. Going against parental and cultural expectations about sexual behaviour and partners can produce feelings of guilt for students of East Asian backgrounds.

Sexual fantasies
Replacing guilty thoughts like ‘I am an immoral person for wanting sex’ with a healthier outlook could heat up the sex lives for women with low libidos.

In the past, treating women with low sex drives has involved everything from training on sexual fantasies to providing information about sex.

Photo: Flickr/ep_jhu

 
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Do you feel guilty about wanting sex?

In fact,it's just a one-side

In fact,it's just a one-side view of the problem.Everybody knows that the more a thing or a behavior,including sexual one,is prohibited the more it tempts.

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