Love Matters is produced by Radio Netherlands Worldwide and influenced by a Dutch view of sexuality and sexual health.

Love and Sex Info

my story

First times: "we ended up kissing"

First time lesbian experience: "we ended up kissing"“I had always been attracted to women, but I never thought I was a lesbian,” says Avni.

At school she had always thought being a lesbian meant “having short hair, wearing oversized boyish clothes, being unusually enthusiastic about the English Premier League and generally being a social outcast”. Part four in our first times series.


Her orgasms

making loveWhen a girl has an orgasm, or climax, the muscles of the pelvic floor, around the vagina and anus, squeeze together rhythmically, tensing and relaxing.

Sometimes the womb also contracts and relaxes too. This all gives an intensely pleasurable feeling in the pubic area. Some girls feel it right through their bodies. It can make your whole body jerk.

More than one orgasm
Girls can have more than one orgasm in a row, not long after each other. This is because within 10 to 15 seconds of having an orgasm, the clitoris returns to its normal size. It’s then ready for stimulation again. Boys need a longer period to recover after they ejaculate.

Some girls squirt out liquid when they have an orgasm. It’s not urine, but vaginal fluid.

How can a girl have an orgasm?
Stimulate the clitoris, for example by rubbing with a finger or licking. For most girls, just having intercourse isn’t enough to make them have an orgasm. This is because the vagina is relatively insensitive and the clitoris often isn’t stimulated enough just by the penis going in and out of the vagina. See also fingering and oral sex.

G-spot
Some girls have a G-spot. It’s an area the size of a coin, three to five centimetres inside the vagina, on the front wall. For some girls it doesn’t give any special feeling, but for others it’s particularly sensitive. It can be stimulated by fingering or in some positions during intercourse.

Keeping in step
Do you find that he comes more quickly than you do? That’s perfectly normal. Most boys reach orgasm more quickly and easily than girls do. A couple of tips to help keep in step with each other:

  • Take time to build up your lovemaking. And make clear to your partner what you like.
  • Try to let go and just enjoy him touching you. You don’t always have to concentrate on him. He also finds it really arousing to see you enjoying his caresses.
     

Sensitive spots
Actually your whole body can give you pleasure. But certain areas feel particularly nice when they’re touched. For girls it’s the vulva and vagina, and certainly the clitoris. But your neck, arms, breasts and buttocks are also sensitive. Find out more about girls’ and boys’ sensitive spots here.

Breasts and sex

Breasts, especially the nipples, are sensitive to the touch and can grow harder and larger when you’re aroused. The areola, the area around the nipple, swells up and turns darker in colour, and the skin goes bumpy. Many girls like having their breasts and nipples touched during lovemaking. Your partner can use fingers, lips, tongue, or even teeth. When your breasts are touched you often feel it in your vagina, which gets moist. It can be particularly nice if your breasts and vulva are touched at the same time.

 

Simultaneous orgasms
Did you both have an orgasm at the same time? You’ve been lucky! Usually it’s not so easy to have a simultaneous orgasm. When you come, you’re usually thinking about yourself and not your partner. Don’t put too much pressure on it.

If you manage to come at the same time it’s nice, but it’s also exciting to come one after the other. You can pay more attention to your partner and enjoy seeing him or her having an orgasm.

Afterplay
It’s nice to enjoy cuddling, caressing and talking after making love. In particular many girls find afterplay important.
 

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