If you stay friends with your ex partner, remember that a friendship isn’t the same as a relationship. You don’t have the same liberties anymore.
Love and Sex Info
When Nakshatra goes out for a coffee with his mother, they’re both on the look-out for cute men. “Do you fancy that guy?” she’ll say.
Things haven’t always been this way. Growing up in a village, he became aware of his feelings aged 16. A year later, after a move to Mumbai, he told his parents he was gay. His mum said she wished he was dead.
When you make love, or have sex, you caress each other, get sexually aroused and perhaps have an orgasm. There are many ways to make love, with or without your clothes on.
You can kiss, caress, lie together naked with your bodies pressed or rubbing together, talk intimately, stroke each other's genitals, give each other oral sex (the boy licking or sucking the girl’s clitoris or labia, the girl licking or sucking the boy's penis), have intercourse (the boy’s penis inside the girl’s vagina) or anal sex (the boy’s penis inside the girl’s anus).
You can also have sex on your own – see the section on masturbating. Lots of people in a relationship also masturbate.
Of course boys can also have sex with boys and girls can have sex with girls. See homosexuality.
Find out about each other
The nice thing about making love is you can find out about each other. Everyone has their own personal preferences and everyone experiences lovemaking differently. Making love can be gentle and tender or wild and passionate.
Are you ready for it?
You only have sex if you want to. That means if you’re ready for it. But is the other person also ready for it? And when does that time arrive? It’s different for everyone.
Sometimes you can both sense it in each other and you both want the same thing, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way. This can lead to unpleasant misunderstandings. So be clear with each other about what you want. You can do this with words, but also without them.
Making love is not the same as cuddling. When you cuddle someone it’s not about sex. Everyone needs a cuddle sometimes to feel happy. Cuddling is about warmth and affection. Making love is about sexual arousal and pleasure. When you’re in a relationship it’s good if there’s a place both for sex and for cuddles.
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