When you make love, explore each other’s bodies and watch closely how your partner responds.
Love and Sex Info
When Nakshatra goes out for a coffee with his mother, they’re both on the look-out for cute men. “Do you fancy that guy?” she’ll say.
Things haven’t always been this way. Growing up in a village, he became aware of his feelings aged 16. A year later, after a move to Mumbai, he told his parents he was gay. His mum said she wished he was dead.
A friend of mine suggested yesterday that men are “bigger masturbators” than women.
“A man holds the world record for masturbation – nine hours and something,” he said defiantly. “Men are just hornier than women. And so they’re more keen on masturbating,” he added. Is that true? If it is, is it the only reason why are women missing out on the safest, easiest form of sex?
Twelve stories you liked best in 2012!
#1 First published 16/04/2012
Growing up, all of us hear myths about masturbation: you’ll get acne, fever, stomach aches, bad eyesight etc. And then there is the other religious, spiritual blackmail list: God won’t be happy with you, you’ll go to hell, it’s a sin, and so on and so forth.
But today, we’ve left (or at least would like to leave) all that behind us. We celebrate events like the ‘Masturbate-a-thon’ – a collective event in the US where men and women pleasure themselves for charity. The money raised goes to reproductive healthcare for the poor. Great idea!
The underlying message: masturbation is good for reproductive health. It’s safe and easy. It’s about loving yourself. It’s giving yourself something you deserve. Don’t hold yourself back from indulging in it. We’ve made peace with the fact that masturbation doesn’t do us any harm.
That’s dealt with then. Now, is it true that women masturbate less than men? I did a bit of Googling and found out from dear friend Wikipedia that research has in fact found it to be true – women do masturbate less than men.
A study conducted in the UK a few years ago found that only 18 percent of the women taking part in the survey had masturbated in the seven days prior to the interview, whereas the figure among males was as high as 53 percent. So, going by these figures, my friend was right – women are not so big on masturbating.
Then the obvious question remains – why?
“It’s socially less acceptable for women to masturbate. Traditionally, a woman isn’t supposed to have sexual desires. She’s supposed to be just there to provide for her man, isn’t she?” my friend said when I pushed the argument further.
Fair point. If women started fantasising and touching themselves when their men weren’t around, wouldn’t the chauvinists go haywire? Women going ‘astray’ with sexual thoughts is perhaps the worst thing that could happen to a conservative society.
“I’m not a woman, so I don’t know how easy it is for women to masturbate, but it’s pretty simple for men to go out there and lose some sperm. I could do it in some public toilet if I really had to. Could you?” he asked.
Oh no! No way! It’s just not a comfortable thing to do. It’s not something that could happen in a dingy loo. You know why those perfumed candles sell so well. It’s all about the mood, it’s about the right setting.
“But if you have a really strong urge to do it, how could you wait? How could you hold on?” my friend asked.
“Well, I’m just not that desperate,” I said. And he jumped.
“See, I told you, you’re just not that horny. I rest my case – women are not as horny as men. And so they don’t masturbate as much.”
By Gayatri Parameswaran
Photo: Gayatri Parameswaran, © Love Matters/RNW
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