Last week I raved and ranted about public displays of affection, but got bombarded by angry women readers declaring that their grouch with public kissing is not ‘public’ but 'kissing'. Or rather the quality of it. 

So welcome to the Guy Next Door's BroGuide to kissing. You might think today’s post is for the girls next door, but it's actually to make your life special.

So the common wisdom amongst the fairer gender is that men are actually not into kissing. Give them a boob to paw and they'll forget the lip play. But my Brain Trust, which met over a beer pong contest last night, begs to differ.

Most men have realised that the secret to incredible sexual pleasure is pleasuring one's partner. The payback is always worth it. Maybe it's not that men don't like to kiss, the real issue might be with their understanding of kissing. Maybe quality kissing is just not wired into male DNA.

Honing the skills
Let’s flashback to your first kiss. No not the sloppy ones, I mean the first real, unforgettable experience. Mine was in the first row of a movie theatre with a girl who won't be named because she hosts a daily show on Star News at 5.00pm.

Chances are that like mine your first kiss was also initiated by the girl and you just followed the lead. So we just learnt the art with practice. And never paid attention to honing the skills. Yes you can deliver multiples on demand and are an expert muff eater. But without that super kiss, you might not reach there.

Take it slow
So for those who came in late, the Brain Trust is here to help. Some basics are obvious. Speed is of essence, and I mean slowwwww speed. Don't just dive into it, build it up. Could be some cutesy talk leading to sensual strokes. But don't talk too much also. And again, take it slow.

Yes, yes, we have all seen the movies where the hero gives a passionate one in middle of a heated argument. And I'm not saying that it doesn't happen, but seriously talking too much will just tire out your mouth.

So just slow things down. Pause. Breathe. Gaze. What the heck, even tilt your head a bit. If she gazes back, make your move. Pulling back her hair is good. Her playing with your hair is great. Basically escalate the sexual vibe and then go for the kill.

Deep mouth exploration
Don't pucker your lips, that only happens on Loony Toons. Be natural, and let the soft tissues collide. Give a few moments, pull back and see if she wants more. Her eyes will tell you. So now, dive in deeper for a longer, more passionate one.

Now for the crucial bit. Try and control your tongue. We don't know what she wants, so just let her guide. Kissing is an intermingling of lips, but the right usage of tongue and teeth can take it to another level. But deep mouth exploration has to take place at the right time and space.

If the temperature rises
Equally important is your hand placement. I know you are itching to undo the bra clasp, but shaant gadhadhari bheem shaant. Keep one hand steady, and caress her gently with the other. Only the back to start with. But if temperature rises (read kiss goes on and on), you can explore the front too.

Now obviously these tips are for the start-ups. And always evolving. Since no two girls are the same, the Brain Trust can’t guarantee instant success. Malcolm Gladwell would advise 10,000 hours of practice, but we think that a few sessions should help you understand your lady, her likes and her lips well enough.

And then my dear men, you will enjoy the real fun of great kissing. Forget the techniques developed through sloppy teenage experiences and a wide variety of imported cinema (including some X-rated stuff). And enjoy. Just slow down life and enjoy.

By Kuber Sharma

Photo: Kuber Sharma, © Love Matters/RNW

The views expressed in our blogs don’t necessarily represent those of Love Matters.
 

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