You’re not ready for sex if you’re only doing it because you’re worried your partner will dump you if you don’t.
Love and Sex Info
“We were happily married until Amit was mocked because of my dark skin colour,” says Mira. “All our fights would boil down to my complexion.”
Family, friends and colleagues shunned Amit's choice of an ‘ugly’ wife. Prejudice about skin colour ground their happy marriage down until it ended in divorce. Part 2 in a MyStory mini-series on love and skin colour.
India is a country where temples house busty topless goddesses, yet a girl can create havoc in an ordinary market place by wearing a short skirt. Or feel naked without a bra.
Girls love discussing clothes. Boys love watching girls in clothes. But a question worth pondering is what can wearing clothes – or leaving them off – mean to different people?
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Twelve stories you liked best in 2012!
#5 First published 01/02/2012
With these strange thoughts playing in my head I was spending a lazy Sunday at my hostel when my roommate offered to drop me off at a shop where I needed to run an errand. I was almost ready and outside the house as she was about to leave to meet her boyfriend when I realized that an essential part of my clothing was missing.
I had forgotten to wear a bra under my t-shirt. It might be a thing that people might not notice. But for humans like me, who are slightly plum and conservative, it’s essential and almost like power-glasses. You have to wear them or the world looks strange and hostile.
I told my room-mate and was about to run up when she said, “Oh come on! It’s not a big deal for a bra-burning feminist. And you’re only going to the nearby market. You’ll be back after visiting just one shop.” Her statement raised my hackles and I was on my way.
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Centre of attention
It was one of the most strangest walks of my life. I was conscious of myself in a way that I had never been and felt naked despite the fact that I was respectably covered. I felt mentally exposed.
I’m not sure who was looking at me or not but I felt as if I was the centre of attention. I tried to take the shortest and the least crowded lanes but the feeling wouldn’t leave me.
I even thought about going home and coming back feeling less incomplete – after all my roommate was nowhere in sight. But a challenge had been issued and I couldn’t back down. After all, what was holding me back?
It’s my body and I decide what I wear or do with it. Since when had I started adhering so much to a society that’s scared about personal choices like these? I was told when I was 15 that it’s proper for girls to wear bras and since then I had stuck to the rule.
On a high
The heretic in me urged me on. And then despite the self-conscious feeling, I had a constant smile on my face like a person who’s just made love. With hindsight I think I was on a high.
It felt good to be liberated. Social constructs are for our protection but they shouldn’t become fetters, so life without them becomes unthinkable or abnormal.
Come to think about it then, a man might or might not wear the equivalent of a bra and no one of either sex will raise an eyebrow. But if a woman doesn’t wear a bra – or opts for a G-string – why does it make the world behave as if the sun has risen from the west?
By Roli Mahajan
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