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Happy to be in an arranged marriage
“I was introduced to my future husband by email, met him for the first time on Skype and married him two months later,” says Divya.
Divya got married two years ago to a match arranged by her father’s friend. According to her even though an arranged marriage doesn’t sound like the most romantic thing in the world, it’s the best decision she has made in her life.
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Part 2: The science of porn
So, I’ve been watching a lot of porn. It’s not news you normally share. But I’ve been invited to take part in a panel to review women’s porn, or ‘porna’.
I’ve also spent a lot of time reading about the science of porn. Yes, science! Because there are some really interesting reasons as to why it’s so popular. Basically, it works – and it works for both men and women.
By Love Matters' resident porn reviewer
Read more confessions of a porn reviewer, and more about 'porna'.
We tend to think of porn mainly as a man-hobby, but according to a study by McGill University in Montreal porn arouses men and women in almost the same amount of time – 10 minutes.
Firm bum
The difference between the sexes is that while women’s bodies react to porn, their minds don’t always. They have the physical effects of arousal but mentally, they’re still thinking about what’s for dinner.
Porna is clearly trying to bridge that arousal gap by offering some extra cues that excite women. The authors of the book A Billion Wicked Thoughts claim that it takes more than a firm bum to turn a woman on.
Burning lust
Hetero women are aroused by among other things, men who are strong, assertive but gentle, etc. In fact many women need a heaving buffet table of visual and psychological cues to reach the big O.
One way to bring those extra cues into porn is to create a story around it. That’s what the makers of Burning Lust did. In a nutshell, the film is about a silicone-injected, hairless couple getting it on in the back of a pick-up truck parked in – you guessed it – a desert burning with lust.
Thumbs down
There was a long and winding story about how they ended up in the pick-up truck. To be honest I didn’t catch all the details because I was too busy watching the sex while trying to figure out how they got a garden hose working in the middle of the desert.
The back-story seemed to go on endlessly – as did the sex. And while the setting was unusual, it felt la lot like conventional porn wrapped in a skin-tight, threadbare halter top of a story. In other words, it didn’t provide enough cues for me – so, I gave it a thumbs down.
Lip service
My conclusion? You need to pay more than lip service to women’s desires to turn their brains on.
So what does work? Well you’ll have to wait until next week to find that out…
Photo: Dusk!
Read more about the porna panel and female-friendly porn.
Read more information about pornography.
We're interested to know how women feel about porn. Leave a comment or send us an e-mail.
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