No victim of unwanted sexual behaviour should feel guilty. No one has the right to force another person to do anything sexual that they don’t want to do.
Love and Sex Info
“I was introduced to my future husband by email, met him for the first time on Skype and married him two months later,” says Divya.
Divya got married two years ago to a match arranged by her father’s friend. According to her even though an arranged marriage doesn’t sound like the most romantic thing in the world, it’s the best decision she has made in her life.
Q: I want to have sex with a prostitute. Is it right to go to a sex worker to enjoy sex?
I know that sex with a prostitute involves lots of risks. But if I use a condom, am I safe? Diwakar, Cochin
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Auntyji says… Dear Diwakar Puttar, let's make one thing clear first. Your Auntyji only judges those who judge others. Basically there is no right or wrong or good or bad. Only then we can do baatein Khul ke. Nahi Kya?
Betaji, if you ask me there is nothing wrong in visiting a sex worker. They don't call it the oldest profession for nothing. All over the world, millions of people pay for sex. They all have their reasons and most survive to tell their tales.
Consent and age
Sex is a really fun activity, but only if both the people involved are consenting to it. So you need to find a sex worker who hasn't been coerced into the act and is not underage. If you feel that she is not happy about it, or she is younger than 18, then you're just committing sexual assault. So choosing the sex worker is very crucial.
This is hard for you to know, so you can do little more than follow your instincts and be honest with yourself if you have a feeling something is not right. But remember that many prostitutes are legally too young and are doing it against their will to make money for somebody else.
Diwakar, you haven't given me enough details about your life or any other information about this decision. I hope that it’s not the impending monsoons in Kerala. I would go by face value and believe that you know what you are getting into.
And I'm sure that you aren't in a relationship. Because if you already have a girlfriend or a wife, this will amount to cheating on her. And I will not approve of such shenanigans.
We might not like it, but some decisions have long term and wide ranging repercussions. I will just put a few points on the table to ponder. There are various societal taboos around visiting prostitutes. Made public, this visit can wreak havoc on your personal life and your family's.
So do think a little bit about possible fallouts. I would strongly advise you to think a bit about how will this impact your life in near and long term future.
Safer sex and condoms
It's great that you are already thinking of safe sex. We all know that fun can be dangerous sometimes. You are right that sex with a professional sex worker has a few medical risks as well. But the precautions are the same that you will take in any sexual relationship.
If you use a condom correctly with a prostitute, your risk of getting HIV or passing it will be next to nothing.
You can also try the female condom too, though they are expensive, difficult to find and a bit cumbersome too, depending on the type. Of course with condoms, there is the added benefit of birth control as well.
If you want even more safety, try to find out if the sex worker has recently tested for STDs and follows safe sex practices. STDs are tricky because often you don't show symptoms but you can still pass on the infection.
Pros and cons
And it's good to know what's safe and what's not so safe. Certain sexual activities carry higher risks of HIV and other STDs than others. For instance, kissing is safer than having unprotected anal sex. And do remember these safe sex practices every time you have fun, not just with sex workers
So no moral policing here, but as always self-regulation is the key to safe and fulfilling sex life. Think about this over a few glasses of Rooh Afza. Measure the pros and cons and make up your mind about what you are getting into. I am confident that you will become stronger and happier.
Photo: Auntyji, thinqkreations
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