If your partner says she doesn’t want sex right now, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you. Respect her wishes. It’s always her right.
Love and Sex Info
“I’ve never felt so guilty in my life,” says Anmol. He’s been with his girlfriend for two years but lately he’s found himself fantasising about her best friend.
“I don’t want to mess up my relationship over something like this but I really don't know how to get her friend out of my mind,” says Anmol. “I’m turned on every time I’m around her.”
Q: Is it normal if you want to have sex with women who are much older than you?
I like to have sex with women older than 30 years. Is my behaviour strange? I have already had sex with many older ladies. Please tell me if I am right or wrong. Sameer, Saharanpur
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Ask Auntyji Anything
More on age gap relationships
Auntyji says... Puttar ji, let me start with the bad news first. With immense regret I have to report that I am in my 60s now – slightly out of your target group. But still feel free to try your charms on me. Always very flattering to have slightly young suitors ji.
Now the good news. Betaji, there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting turned on by older women. Or being in a consensual relationship with them. Or just a series of no strings attached affairs. I completely approve as long as both the people involved are happy about it. Which seems to be the case here.
Puttar, you don't mention your age so I'm assuming that you are somewhere in your 20s. And that means a gap of ten years between you and your lovers. Hardly any problem! But at some time you need to take a pause and think long term. You might see them as flings but your partners might take them more seriously.
Because of the societal taboos around anything not considered 'normal', I can imagine your apprehensions. Also think about your friends and family's reactions and how your relationship will affect them.
But do remember that you're not alone in this. Even your partner must face similar pressures for dating a younger man. Many people are attracted to different kinds of sexual partners. I’m glad that you’re able to identify what really rocks your boat. And are able to follow up on that as well.
After Savita Bhabhi happened, I think quite a lot of you young folks started noticing women out of your usual age group. I know that older women are expected to be more experienced and hence experts in carnal matters. Now this is a stereotype and one doesn't necessarily have to go by it.
So very often the expectation is that older ladies will be able to act as 'worldly' wise teachers to 'guide' younger men into the fine arts of sexual pleasures. If you believe that story, then be prepared to get disappointed. Kama Sutra wasn't mandatory reading for earlier generations either. That said, as a feminist I am happy to note that the women in their 30s have many more options now.
So Sameer, all’s well with what you are doing. Age doesn't matter – how you treat your partner is the key factor in any relationship. Most important thing is that you don’t force yourself on anyone and also don't participate in any sexual activity that you are not comfortable with.
Condoms and contraceptives
Like in any other relationship, consent and safe sex practices are a must. So just because she is older, don't expect her to teach you safe sex practices also. Be smart about it and use the right combination of condoms for safer sex and contraceptives to avoid unwanted pregnancy.
And let me give you a final tip. Any smart woman worth her salt would really appreciate a bottle of Rooh Afza or two. Now before Mr Malhotra brings out his rusted but trusted rifle, I suggest you should do the vanishing act and disappear into thin air. Rab rakha ji.
Photo: Auntyji, thinqkreations
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