After you end a relationship, if you have a shared group of friends, don’t make them pick sides. Behave politely towards each other.
Love and Sex Info
When Nakshatra goes out for a coffee with his mother, they’re both on the look-out for cute men. “Do you fancy that guy?” she’ll say.
Things haven’t always been this way. Growing up in a village, he became aware of his feelings aged 16. A year later, after a move to Mumbai, he told his parents he was gay. His mum said she wished he was dead.
Q: Is it safe to have sex without a condom if you’re both virgins?
My boyfriend and I are really in love and feel like we’re ready for to have sex. We’re both virgins, and for the first time we want to have the perfect experience of sex without a condom. Do you think unprotected sex the first time is a bad idea? Bharti, New Delhi
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Ask Auntyji Anything
sex for the first time
Auntyji says... sex vex hai rabba, badhaiyan ji badhiyan! I am so happy for the two of you. One should really learn how to live it up from you youngsters. But I am mighty impressed with you Bharti puttar for coming to aunty for advice. Jury is still out on sex without condoms as there are many things to be considered. You need to make two glasses of chilled Rooh Afza and sit down with the love of your life and talk things out.
Prevention is better than cure
See betaji, no doubt that your first time should be the most memorable one but you need to be very careful. I don’t mean to freak you out but there is a huge difference between being a virgin and claiming to be one.
I am not telling you not to trust your guy. But it’s very important for us women to have a sensitive set of antennae. You might mistake Aunty for ‘doubting Thomas’ but prevention is better than cure, they say.
Even if you both are virgins, it does not mean that you cannot have sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). I hope you know that you could get the HIV virus through infected needles, or even open wounds.
An STD is too huge a price to pay even for a memorable first time. I am telling you guys, better be very clear before you actually get down to anything. In the scenario that you both want to go ahead with having unprotected sex, I will tell you to run basic tests to be sure about any such eventuality. Better be safe than sorry. No?
Moving on. I am not trying to scare you but you know na the biggest risk of unprotected sex is conceiving a child. I know 'coming outside’ is an option that men have. But it’s certainly not the most foolproof thing to do – especially for young people and with all the excitement of a first time. I always tell people that it is all in the moment and he might or might not be able to act with that much spontaneity.
Last but not the least it also depends on where exactly you are in your cycle. But your Aunty will always tell you that unprotected sex is not really a smart thing to do. When in doubt go for protection.
Birth control options
If you do decide that you are confident neither of you have an STD and decide to have sex without a condom, of course there are many other options for making sure you don’t get pregnant. Have a look at the contraception top five facts or information on different birth control methods right here on Love Matters.
Now don’t judge me to be old or regressive. I am just making you aware of all the possibilities. I strongly believe in taking calculated risks only. In our times they used to say that a known devil is always better than an unknown one. So go ahead have a great time with your friend. But do it safely. Why take chance with the first time when you’ll have rest of your lives to experiment?
Photo: Auntyji, thinqkreations
Would you ask your partner to have an STD test before you have sex for the first time - even if your partner says he or she is a virgin? Comment here or join in the facebook discussion!
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