'What women want' is supposedly something that has befuddled men through the ages.

But will I be pricking too many bubbles if I say that in reality most of us don't really care? Instead let's talk about what men want. Apart from good old sex. Which is also something we want as much as any average woman might.

Do not believe otherwise. In fact my research shows that most women think about men thinking about sex every ten seconds.

But how much sex do we want? The thing is, more than the act, we enjoy the gratification. Yes, men love orgasms. They are fun, low calorie and don't need much effort or investment.

Sex is not so important, the release is. Hence our affection and gratitude for blow-jobs. Not too much work and guaranteed returns. If there is a god, she must bless Linda Lovelace.

Menwants
But we have other interests than boobs and orgasms, gadgets, cars and sports.

The Guy Next Door Brain Trust presents five universal ‘menwants’ that can be shared with the girls next door. Just accidently leave this webpage open for your girlfriend/wife/FWB/complicated love partner. Just so they know how to 'handle' us better.

1. We judge women by their friends. And consequently expect them to weigh our friends as well. No we don't expect you to be best friends with ours, but we will again judge you if you're not. Showing off friends is like showing one's true colours.

2. Yes, our best friends can be women. No, your best buddies can't have a penis. No not even if they like other boys. Because we've had some sort of spark (most probably in our late evening fantasies) with most of our 'girl' friends. Because we can’t get over our own delusions, it’s difficult for us to trust you.

3. If we mean the 'I love you' bit, we don't care about anything else. Cellulite is sexy and your hair looks great all the time. And we know that your sister/colleague in short shorts is off limits. But no harm in looking. Only a bit. Important corollary: we don't consider masturbation or porn as cheating. If you do, please do explain.

4. Most of us see romance as a short term seduction. The tricky bit is knowing if we mean it when we declare our love. Otherwise you have the first three months of pampering and we get pampered the rest of our life. Unless you come to senses. Or we do and fall in love, for real. 

5. We don't say no to sex. Not only for the gratification, but for our own demons. We are significantly more insecure than you might believe. We are always under pressure to be manly enough. What we really want is your help. We don't always want to drive, pay the bills, know the directions and keep up with IPL scores. But we're expected to.

And that's the bane of our existence. The Guy Next Door Brain Trust concurs that most men are too confused with their own masculinity to know what they really, really want. Society, mothers and other half-baked men drop some clues and a bunch of weary role models.

Just cut us some slack. Don't criticise too much, love us back and help us be better persons. That's all men want. And regular orgasms. But women know that already.

By Kuber Sharma

Photo: Kuber Sharma, © Love Matters/RNW

The views expressed in our blogs don’t necessarily represent those of Love Matters.

 
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