Q: I'm a 33-year-old woman who regularly has wet dreams. Am I unusual?

They don't always start out sexual. It seems for me that the nights I have the wet dreams I am more aroused the following day. I am happily married, but I seem to orgasm a lot easier in a wet dream than I do with my husband. Should I be worried? Sharmila, New Delhi

Arre wah Sharmila, good that you wrote in. I was getting slightly bored reading all these men’s letters. And also a bit worried that maybe women are not reading this website. Now I'm feeling much better.

Natural
But the best news is that you are raising an issue that almost everyone wrongly believes to be a male domain. Yes puttar, you are not the only woman to have orgasms in your sleep. Nothing to be ashamed of, it's a natural occurrence. And naturally it's not spoken about openly.

Now the boy's wet dreams, which last well into adult life, are a well-known and a much discussed phenomenon. Unfortunately Women's wet dreams are hardly researched or talked about. That doesn't mean that they don't happen.

In fact my sexologist friend mentioned that up to 40 per cent of women have experienced a wet dream at least once in their life. So remember that it's very normal.

Blood flow to your genitals
It's just that the wet dreams are rarer amongst our gender. Many women, just like you, experience intense orgasms in the middle of their sleep. People who have researched them like to call them nocturnal orgasms. And people who get them tend to get them regularly. Those who don't, well we do feel sorry for them.

Just like men's, a woman's nocturnal orgasm may or may not be triggered by sexual dreams. The scientific explanation is higher blood flow to your genitals during sound sleep. No, just sleeping well will not cause you to climax, but stimulates you a bit. Now it varies from woman to woman the amount of arousal thus caused and its effect. And in your case beta ji, the results are rather favourable.

Talk to him
Now I'll look at this in two ways. On one hand I think you are very, very lucky. No I will not explain why. But I can imagine that you could get stuck in tricky situations too.

Maybe it's a good idea to talk about this to your husband, clarify it has nothing to do with your regular sex life and it's just a natural process, that's not in your control. As they said in my village, "It's a gift of god, stop worrying and start enjoying."

Share your knowledge
And one last thing. Sharmila, I am so glad to know that you're not particularly sharmili. The more we talk about these issues, the more comfortable we'll get with our bodies and sex life.

So how about you call over some friends for a Rooh Afza party, share your knowledge and hear theirs too. And then tell all your women friends to read this website regularly – after all, love does matter, doesn’t it?
 

Photo: Auntyji, thinqkreations